First, let me say how much I enjoyed last night’s Gala at the aquarium. The decorations! The seafood! The inspired entertainment by Frankie and the Whalers! The party was perfection from start to last bells.
Upon wakening this morning however, I detected distressing evidence of sea salt in the various crevasses of my own body, and my husband Charles informed me that I became a bit too rambunctious during the course of the evening. Over my morning hair-of-the-dog the memories flooded in and have prompted me to write this sincere letter of apology.
You sir, as you know, have built a sterling career out of swimming among the sharks, and I have admired your dedication and courage for many years. This, however, is not reason enough for my attempt to capture a wee bit of your glory by leaping into the shark tank in gown and tiara. I am certain that had I not startled the poor creatures so, they should have found my flailing thighs a quite tasty snack.
I must thank you for your timely intervention and determination in fishing me out. I cannot have been the easiest catch to land, consumed as I was with the delight of swimming in your world.
Needless to say, in the future I shall confine my admiration to the right side of the glass, and leave the sea creatures to you.
I remain your most ardent fan and supporter.
Post Script: Enclosed you will find my support check for the coming year. As you can see, I have doubled the usual amount, which I hope will in some way mitigate your ire and encourage you to continue inviting me to your annual Galas.
Post-Post Script: Charles mentioned that many of the party-goers snapped photographs of my salty adventure, if any of those prints come into your possession, would you be so kind as to forward them to me? I am most curious to see if I look even a modicum as dapper as you do when you cavort with sea creatures.
Post-Post-Post Script: I do hope that the wee seven gill that I was forced to rap upon the nose with my fan has forgiven me as well, do see that he is given extra rations tonight by way of apology.