Saturday, April 04, 2009

Between Parachutes 1

You could not have told me in advance that I would find any city home. I am a country girl. I like open spaces and trees, and rivers and sky. All the things that are generally in short supply in a city. A normal city. But Edinburgh is not a normal city!

Edinburgh is a city of green spaces, parks, the 14 mile walk along the River of Leith, gardens and hills (7 of them to be exact - all still undeveloped). Edinburgh is a city whose very architecture leads the eye upwards to the sky. Edinburgh is very 'walk-able' which means that I spent more time outside - walking to and from work, the grocery store, the cinema than I had in all our years in California where it is necessary to drive everywhere!

In Edinburgh this country girl became citified. I regularly went to the art galleries, the museums, the concert halls. I went to music festivals, film festivals, book festivals! And still spent more time outside than any time since my childhood.

I learned a lot in Edinburgh. I gained by Bachelor's degree in music, I found my voice as a writer, I deepened my love for my husband, I gained a more worldly perspective in politics, I discovered a passion for film, I d
iscovered a talent for arts development work. I was still learning. That is why the call to vacate the country was so devastating. I did not feel ready to end that learning process.

I feel the loss of Edinburgh as a deep cut. I am terribly homesick for the chimney pots, the closes, the daffodils. It is spring there now, the snowdrops have come and gone, the carpets of crocuses in purple, yellow and white are giving way to the daffodils - hundreds of thousands of delicate yellow blooms draping Castle Hill, coating the Meadows, filling your heart with sunshine.

For now, my heart sits in shadow.

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